New Year, New You?

This is what we're working with...

There's always this notion in the New Year of resolution. I am not the first person to start a blog post this way, and I'm sure I won't be the last -- in fact, it's my New Years resolution to do it again just to be annoying.

With the way the world works, the state of things post-pandemic, the looming inauguration and subsequent civil unrest, I'm really not sure how people can wrap their minds around anything other than surviving. I, myself, have been surviving for a long, long time. To be clear: that's not a brag. I have been in survival mode for decades and it's fucking exhausting. 

I haven't started this year with a mindset of getting to the gym more often, working on a new book, finishing an album or anything with gross specificity. What I have opted for, instead, is allowing myself the space to explore these options at a leisurely pace. I have had an issue with forced productivity for a long time -- something that is often mixed with hypomanic episodes which burn white hot and then fizzle out with something unfinished and abandoned. When you have a naturally depressive outlook, that's really fucking healthy on the day-to-day to leave things unfinished, lemme tell ya.

It's okay to have unfinished projects, as long as they are earmarked to get back to. At least that's where I'm at. A quest for deliberate productivity with the built-in option to let it rest awhile. 

So, unironically, on this Saturday morning, 3 days after the New Year began, I've gotten around to starting it off. My tepid coffee, my sleepy son, and some leftover french toast are the sleepy tributes to a new day. They are good enough.

And that is good enough.